Languishing

Sweet dreams ... telepathically. I've been having them lately and it's made sleep much more appealing than is often the case. These are the dreams that shout their messages at me. Today I feel maternal. And free.

I'm leaving on a jet plane for la Wednesday. This is my first visit since ... 2009? I believe that was the year. That's not good. This trip will be an expansive one. A two month writing retreat would be a wonderful thing, and LA might not be a terrible place to do it, car notwithstanding. Actually, never mind. Car is too withstanding for that to work.

So where should I go? The Obvious Choices are anything but, though they've followed me around for decades.

I want to fly the ocean in a silver plane and go everywhere I want to go. But first I need to do things here.

Ham

I'm liking this guy:

She Said
by Charles Bukowski

what are you doing with all those paper
napkins in your car?
we dont have napkins like
that
how come your car radio is
always turned to some
rock and roll station?do you drive around with
some
young thing?
you're
dripping tangerine
juice on the floor.
whenever you go into
the kitchen
this towel gets
wet and dirty,
why is that?
when you let my
bathwater run
you never
clean the
tub first.
why don't you
put your toothbrush
back
in the rack?

you should always
dry your razor
sometimes
I think
you hate
my cat.
Martha says
you were
downstairs
sitting with her
and you
had your
pants off.
you shouldn't wear
those
$100 shoes in
the garden

and you don't keep
track
of what you
plant out there

that's
dumb
you must always
set the cat's bowl back
in
the same place.
don't
bake fish
in a frying
pan...

I never saw
anybody
harder on the
brakes of their
car
than you.

let's go
to a
movie.

listen what's
wrong with you?
you act
depressed.

Bukowski, redux

I've posted this already, and it bears repeating.

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

-- by Charles Bukowski

Languish

I want to be a polyglot. I could be if I really tried, but I'm not quite sure how that would benefit my life other than making me happier and more interesting. I speak most English, a fair amount of French, a bit of Spanish, and a dash each of Russian and Latvian. I can say "cow" and "dog" in German and "goodnight" in Hebrew. I can count to four in Mandarin and ten in Japanese - and German. And I can introduce myself in American Sign Language.

How do you like them apples?

Resisting the urge to fix the typo below. Imperfection is beautiful.

I just said to someone, an old friend I encountered on that annoying but once-comforting thing on which one encounters old friends,
"Great - we'll keep in touch over the years!"
and we probably will but either way how much easier it is to say that then to end a correspondence, how much easier it is to keep in touch than it used to be. It's not all bad, this future of ours.

Eight-legged memories...

I once had a spider sit down beside me and frighten me away. It was in the mid-90s late at night in a hot tub in LA. A cameraman - I remember his name - sprouted eight legs and got very grabby. His wife - and my boyfriend - didn't notice. I'll blame it on the cheap gas station wine and Marlboro Lights.