Into the great wide open

I just left the house for the first time in three days and wow did I need to do that. I was going stir-crazy in here, but really, this has been the most debillitating cold I've had in recent years -- thank goodness it didn't last too long. Today I felt better, finally, and the "fresh" air was amazing. I felt like John Travolta at the end of "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble", though as I recall he emerged from said bubble into a pastoral world of flowering fields and pristine beaches, not a congested block of construction and cab exhaust. Still -- that was about as exhilerated as I've felt in days.

Someone on my floor is cooking bacon. I've heard from several ex-vegetarians that that was the craving that finally pushed them over the edge. Several years ago -- actually, several lifetimes ago -- on my drive across country with my then-love, we stopped off to visit friends in Fort Collins, Colorado. The Mrs. was a recently reformed vegetarian who had heeded the salty, crispy siren's song ... and had since gone the other extreme. I have a vivid memory of her pulling a tray from the oven piled high with burnt strips and offering it to her kid, "More bacon, Jacob?"

Since my bout of illness began I've had some really bizarre, vivid dreams, including the funeral at which Tom Waits (and Madonna) performed. Others: I witnessed a horrible car accident in which one car literally crumbled into another and disappeared; the driver and passenger of the second car were fine, but we all knew not to look back at what what probably lying in the road. I dreamt that my hairstylist (God I hope he never happens upon this) had a side business of giving erotic massages in what looked to be the art studio from my high school; I dreamt that several people I know commuted to work via Coney Island roller coaster ... not the Cyclone which, as I recall, offered almost no shock absorption. This seemed to be a much smoother ride.

I feel like writing tonight and would love to write more here but should probably get to work on a few of the many assignments looming over me. Has my muse returned? I don't want to jinx it by assuming it has, so I'll just go with the flow until the flow is no more.

Morning

Why have I been up since 6AM on a Saturday, when I can barely open my eyes by 9AM during the week, you ask? An excellent question, friend, to which I have no answer. I've had a cold for the past several days and have been in a steady pattern of sleeping and waking and sleeping and waking and have been allowing myself to follow the natural rhythm of things, figuring my body knows what it needs to get better. But really, body, this? You're not going to let me sleep in on a Saturday? What did I ever do to you?

Don't answer that. I'm taking my health a lot more seriously than I ever have before -- not that I've taken it for granted, per se, but I've overlooked certain healthy habits that, as I approach my fourth decade, can no longer be overlooked. Like regular exercise, that sort of thing. And not indulging my every whim. I suppose I have taken it for granted. I don't anymore.

I'm reading The Age of Innocence right now, which Edith Wharton wrote in 1920. And really liking it. I want to be back on a reading kick. My mother, by the way, is one of the preeminent collectors of Edith Wharton (first editions), and so hers is a name I've known since nearly as long as I can remember. Yet somehow this is the first of her books that I'm reading. Good stuff.

Okay, I'm going to attempt to capture a few more hours. Two nights ago I had a dream that I was at the funeral of a gal around my age who had killed herself by jumping into the Thames, and Tom Waits performed at the service. He sounded great.

This just popped into my head, one of my favorites:

Stars shining bright above you,
Night breezes seem to whisper I love you,
Birds singing in the sycamore trees,
Dream a little dream of me...

At this point, I'd be happy to dream a little dream about anybody. Really. Even this guy -- remember this guy? I learned a few things about him recently, which I will share soon:


Holy smokes I'm exhausted. Going to give it another shot...

One down ...

So, this happened.

I'll write more later today. This time I mean it. Right now I must edit.

2009

Oh my goodness it's been a long time. So long I feel like I'm starting anew. The muse was on an extended vacation following a busy holiday season of parties and stress. That was my running excuse for a while; when I learned that Mercury was in retrograde, a new alibi was born.

That said, 'twill be a wee bit longer, this time for a much more valid reason: I am busy with work! Woo-hoo! Yay, me!

I will be back, I promise.