Thursday, December 2, 2010

The countdown's begun ...

Less than a month until I enter the next decade ... and by far the most significant one yet. I'm actually looking forward to 40, which is one of the joyous byproducts of being a late bloomer.

I am on the threshold of a whole new era, a bittersweet threshold for reasons I can't yet publicize. I need to let myself mourn the end of one long chapter but it's not yet time. And perhaps I need to celebrate the dawn of this new, uncharted one, but this will be a gradual process. I've got one foot in my "old" life" and one firmly planted in the new, and it's quite an odd place to be. I have made an enormous change that will take some close to me by surprise and to others will make some kind of sense. And this has been the hardest decision of my life, I am certain. And though my heart is broken, the sense of calm and possibility that's taken the place of denial and insecurity indicates that ultimately I have not made a terrible mistake - my biggest fear when making any kind of decision.

Vague enough for you?

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