I've begun the ritual of spring cleaning, of cleaning many springs' worth of clutter. I'm doing it my own way, of course, and for whatever reasons, somewhere along the line I became convinced that I am not good at this sort of thing. A self-fulfilling declaration. Not being good at things lets you off the hook. This is one of the reasons that I am rarely the designated driver and never the one to figure out the check.
Having begun this purging ritual, I've become increasingly amazed at the things I've held onto over the decades, the souvenirs I've carted across the country and back again, and for which I have continued to create space year after year. I have proclaimed myself a pack-rat, and I think I am ready to lose this fragment of my identity. The clutter in my environment reflects the clutter in my mind, and I am ready to rid myself of much of this. Mementos of acquaintances long since forgotten, matchbooks from places I've happened upon, photographs of every infant and child whose mother I've known, notes on cocktail napkins, "sentimental" clothing ... a paint chip and a shoelace -- I kid you not -- and so much more: none of this is relevant to the person I am today and the one I will be tomorrow. It's all seemed relevant at one time or another, has anchored me to what I'd thought were better times or important times or evidence of my existence ... I don't need these anymore. I'm so much more me than ever before. I've got the tools I need and the love of great people, myself included. I don't have to hold onto the past for fear of forgetting it, or of "damning" the people with whom I've associated inanimate objects.
And so I purge, and purge and purge. And the levity is intoxicating, addictive, infectious, and many other $7.00 adjectives. I want order and beauty in my environment and mind, not chaos and illusion.
Here's to the late bloomers -- all of us.
4 comments:
Please tell that thing to stop staring at me. It hurts.
Tha's a whole lotta orphaned dark socks you got there...
update ya glob yo... ;-)
I SO needed to read this right now. I am feeling so totally overwhelmed by STUFF. Everywhere. And it is all the stuff you listed.
" I don't have to hold onto the past for fear of forgetting it, or of "damning" the people with whom I've associated inanimate objects."
That's what I do. That's what I need to figure out how not to do. Thanks for the words. I think I'll have them painted on a plaque for my living room! LOL! Better yet, I should have 'em tattooed on the back of my hand so I HAVE to look at them often. ;o)
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